Figuring out my next step is a constant part of my life. Sometimes I feel the smartest thing to do is to keep writing, plunging myself into my novel and pushing myself, no matter if each word feels like another splinter being removed from my brain. Other times, I think I should wait until inspiration strikes and sentences, paragraphs, and pages flow like my thoughts to paper (minus the middle-man). Still, other times I think it’s more important to get my name out there. I don’t want to just be a tiny voice screaming out into the writing world, only to be heard as a whisper, when the time finally comes for me to send out query letters.
My “definite” answer to this conundrum changes on a week-to-week or sometimes a daily basis. More often than not, it’s influenced by what I “need” that week. Sometimes I need to accomplish something, anything, so I create short-term goals that are reachable. It gives me, perhaps, an undeserved joy, knowing something is done. Still, other times I need to keep progressing in my novel. I need to put all the ideas, thoughts, conversations, motivations, and page turning plot twists from my head onto paper.
Lately, I’ve been doing a little of everything. Some days two sentences are added to my novel. Other days, a short story is composed. And still others, chapters and series are mapped out in excruciating detail. There is a strange joy and agony to my career. Writing is in my blood. I need it, not like air, but like I need human interaction. For those nerds who get my reference, I’m an artistic Sim. Yes, I need to bathe, eat, work, sleep, and socialize, but I also need to create. Therefore, I enjoy this strange hacking away at a tree that may never fall. I like the feel of my fingers on the keyboard, and even the glow of my computer. As painful as some sentences are to write, especially when they’re deleted the following day, I couldn’t be fully complete without writing.
The organized side of me is always trying to plan my next step, even if there is very little logic to what I do. It gives me peace to have a plan, even if it goes terribly array, and even if the plans come on a day-by-day basis, as long as writing is always a part of my life.